I reject 90% of queries for this reason...

It's all about concepts and hooks

Hi everyone!

By popular demand, this month’s newsletter is about the one main reason I reject most queries. First, a little context. I was last open widely to queries between 1 December 2023 and 15 April 2024 and received close to 3,200 during that time. I have maybe 10-15 slots available for representation this whole year. So when I say I have to be both very fast and very picky, that’s a huge understatement. (I currently have 1,760 undecided queries, a month after closing to most genres… gulp.)

I use a ‘semi-personalized’ response system and time and again I find myself selecting ‘concept’ from my drop-down menu of 15 set responses - I’d say up to 9/10 times. But why? And what can you do to try to avoid that relatively quick no?

The concept of a story is oddly slippery to define and (disclaimer!) to some degree, it’s subjective. But basically, for me, its the story’s central idea - or it’s ‘hook’.

The concept should be front and center of your query letter - practically the first thing you write (see my rundown on how to write a great query letter here). It should fit in one line and be easy to sum up and communicate. It should tell the reader what the book is on a basic level (as separate from genre/age group) so that they can scan it and ‘get’ it quickly.

Why is this important? Because agents will have to do the exactly the same thing if they are going to pitch your book to editors (and editors to publishing teams, and marketers to readers, and beyond…). A book that’s easy to pitch is genuinely far more likely to sell, in my experience.

The numbers of queries I have to work through mean I currently can’t do much more than read the query letter before making a decision in most cases. If I like the concept, I’ll read the rest of the material supplied. If not, I’ll pass. It’s brutal but necessary. And this is why the vast majority of my rejections are based on concept alone. (Important note: not all agents work this way!)

I thought about inventing some examples but instead I thought I’d give you a real example of pitches that were successful - my own concepts for my three published novels…

We Are Blood and Thunder is a YA fantasy about a mountaintop city cut off from the rest of the world by an eternal magical stormcloud - and the two young women from opposite sides of the storm who are the only ones capable of unravelling its mystery.

We Are Bound by Stars is a YA fantasy set on a Sicilian-inspired island, in which Livio (the heir to the throne) and Beatrice (a reviled mask-maker) must uncover a deadly masked assassin, or lose everything they hold dear to rebellion and ancient magics.

Let’s Play Murder is a YA horror about a haunted VR game set in 1989, in which six players with their own agendas must solve a murder mystery as the game breaks down around them.

You may not like these concepts - and that’s OK! A decent pitch doesn’t necessarily mean a win, because these things are subjective. But hopefully these examples help explain how a one-line concept might be structured.

What is *not* a concept or a hook?

Loads and loads of queries I read - in fact, probably most of them - have something very cool about them. Perhaps it’s a twist in a thriller, or a magic system in a fantasy novel, or a unique cultural influence. None of these constitute a concept in themselves, although they might add to a concept.

For instance, what if we tried to sabotage the above concept for Let’s Play Murder, which I believe is my strongest yet? In each example I’ll focus on a different (true) aspect of the book to show you how it’s NOT done.

Let’s Play Murder is a murder mystery in which Veronica is desperate to win a prize to save her brother. (This explains the main character’s motivation, which is important in the story. But is it really part of the concept? I’d say no!)

… is about six characters with their own agendas trying to win a game while being foiled by a ghost. (Technically this does explain the story on a basic level. But it leaves out what makes it truly unique!))

… is a murder mystery set in 1989 and has loads of cool vintage details. (OK, this is obviously the crappest - but my point is that the world-building is not in itself anything special without the other elements.)

One of the best things you can do for yourself as a querying writer, in my opinion, is nail down the concept of your novel - the earlier the better.

In other news, I had a wonderful time at an in-person conference with Writing Day Workshops in Portland and Seattle, where I had the chance to meet writers in person and hear all about their stories. WDW run events all over the US - and virtual pitch sessions too! - so it’s definitely worth checking them out if you haven’t already.

In writing news, I’m slowly working through agency edit notes for book four and it’s all starting to come together… hoping I can share this story with you all someday…

Until next time!

Kesia